deep inside 

there is a damaged little girl.

she’s curled up in her blankets

or standing small, in a large crowd.

she wipes her tears 

and tries to keep in her sobs 

silent and unheard. 

everyone towers above her 

while she is doing her best to stand up straight.

during the day

she wanders the field 

that is peppered with yellow spots.

some may call them weeds

but she saw each one as a potential wish to be made. 

everyday she makes crowns of yellow hope

and holding them dearly as sticky glue

seeps from the stems

and onto her fingers. 

as soon as the girl gets up from the pile of flowers

she is reminded by the weight of water 

hanging on her shoulder. 

she has to hoist the vessel up

while being careful to not let her crown slip. 

she was told to hold her bottle of tears close

and to be careful not to drop it. 

she carries it around the playground,

bouncing at her hip when she runs,

slowing her down.

when she lays her head on her pillow

her bottle digs into her back

pushing into her spine. 

but has anyone asked her what it’s like?…. 

“it’s a burden to sling it back around her shoulder every morning.” she says

“everytime it starts to slip,

everytime someone yanks on it,

everytime it gets caught,

everytime it is questioned,

it is a 

burden.”

her thoughts wonder…

“what if the other kids see it fall?

what if they see my scraped knees

and messy tied up hair?

what if they see 

my smile slowly turn into a frown,

the black clouds taking over my  rainbow,

and my clothes f a d i n g . 

….what if they see my yellow crown slip?” she says.

with that, you will see 

her carry around her fragile bottle

around one more time,

and one more time after that,

as she plays in the field 

with a painted smile on her face,

as her bottle of tears sways at her side. 

soon enough 

her bottled up tears 

will be too heavy

to pick up after being in her kingdom of yellow.

she will have to screw off the top

and let it all spill out.

timid at first and then all at once.

she knows she will just fill it back up again…

but until then,

she will have to keep her head up

and not let her crown fall. 

-p.g.y